The day of love

And there is hope for the male kind… 

I have fallen for someone. Everyone knows, it’s really obvious. 

Even though I have been broken by so many guys I feel so happy that I have met him. I can be myself with him. No make up, no false part about me. And Yeah, I really like him. Haha.

I know he likes me. It’s cute. And he even got me a Valentines Day gift. A teddy and a rose. 
I cried when I got it. I was in shock, and I was soo happy! I had never received a VD gift. And to be completely honest, I am so glad he was the first one to ever give me one. He is so special to me. 

Even if we never go out, I want to stay friends with him. He is the type of guy I want in my life. Friend or lover. 

Happy Valentines Day to all my readers. I really hope your day is just a good as mine! Single or betrothed, this day is for everyone. I’m send a rose to all of you beautiful people. Thank you guys! I LOVE YOU ALL!!

Name changing

I am my fathers daughter. But I always dream that my mother is just some woman that he married and wanted kids with. I don’t there was love. At all. But he was not a bad person! Far from it.

I don’t want to be known as Sarah’s daughter any more, simply because a mother wouldn’t do what she has done to her kids.

My father was my angel. And now that God has him, he IS my angel. My Guardian Angel.
He battle with Leukaemia and lost his fight when I just 4. I don’t remember him. I only know what his sounded like from the home movies my Grandfather had made. But from everything my eldest sister has told me he was the light of the world. He cared so much for us. and I love him for that! He is my everything. Always will be.

So, When I get old enough to change my name I will be changing my name to Cameron-Bell.  That way I have no true identity connection with mother. And I feel good for that.

I miss him so, so, so much. R.I.P Daddy ❤


You know that feeling where all you want to do is cry but you’ve run out of tears so you start vomiting? I have that. No matter what I do, I will always get anxious. It’s something I just do. Being a Major Depressant and having anxiety is not how I planned to spend my teenage years. 

Maybe I should go to another country and start over…